Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Cat food and chocolate

I hate going to the supermarket, yet my survival depends on it. I find supermarket shopping more of a drag than a man in women's clothes,  even more of a drag than accepting a cigarette from a friend. And I just ran out of drag puns, I digress.

Supermarkets are awful places, so filled with melancholy that it spills out the automatic-doors and oozes into the car park. I sit in my car preparing for the task ahead and with an exaggerated sigh I drag myself out and into the black hole that is the supermarket. My supermarket of choice is usually Countdown, mainly because the Pak'NSave in my area is like visiting a third-world country. And you think I'm joking, no no, one of the isles' features a shanty-town of cardboard boxes.

So I get into countdown, and I usually decide a little green basket is a far better choice than to commit myself to a trolley. Mainly because the thought of pushing a trolley of food around a Supermarket is the most dismal thing I can think of. I have enough food in my body I have to push each day thank you very much.

My shopping list is all in mind - which means I manage to find everything that is the exact opposite of what is on my list. I can usually keep to a list of less than 5 things, otherwise I'm doomed.

I went to the supermarket tonight. I waited until after 7.30 pm to ensure children and the elderly would be tucked away safely in bed. It is also a peak time for pyjamas and slippers. But when you weigh the two up... sleepwear is the lesser of the two evils. I can't judge I was in my walking clothes, which involves three-quarter tights-as-pants and a tshirt. Sometimes I feel like wearing fitness clothes to the supermarket is as equally bad as wearing a bikini to anywhere but the beach. But I'm lazy and I wouldn't wear a bikini to the supermarket.

I had two things on my list; cat food and chocolate. So yeah, the necessities. I hate the layout of the supermarket because it means these two items are on direct opposite sides on the shop. DESIGN YOUR LAYOUTS FOR CRAZY CAT LADIES PLEASE. I grab my catfood first, oh yeah so cat food isn't just like one tin of cat food, it's like, um, several things:





The little green basket gets full and heavy quite quickly. But little baby kitty-widdies need the treaty-weeties. Okay? Don't judge me.

Then. For. The. Chocolate.



OMG ROLO.

So I'm feeling pretty good about my purchases and I've made good time. I make my way to the checkout to discover they only have one operator on at this time of night. Noooooooooo! This means that everyone can see the contents of my basket. It reminds me of a surpressed childhood memory when I first discovered white went see-through when wet after swimming in a white t-shirt with friends. EVERYONE CAN SEE BUT NO ONE TELLS YOU.

Let me paint this picture for you, I'm in a supermarket at 8pm on a Wednesday night, in my pre-sweaty exercise-clothes, with a basket full of cat food and chocolate. Jealous?

Got to go I just remembered I need to finish my rolo. 

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