I watched my neighbour's son fondle her breast.
Where to begin with this one. So we have front neighbours and back neighbours. This blog is going to be the first regarding our back neighbours - specifically the female. I'm actually kind of more frightened of our back neighbours than our front neighbours. And that's saying something because the front neighbours rap and give each other tattoos in their garage on a regular basis. And yes, it is as unhygienic as it sounds but that's a whole different blog post.
So, the back neighbours are a couple in their late 30s and have a 2 year old son. His name is Zachary, not Zach, Zachary - remember that. To come to think of it I've never asked the spelling, it's probably Zaphkkeriey knowing them. They're weird, let's clarify that. I also want to clarify their race and demographic without sounding like a racist or stereo-typist. So here's some clues, the only hiphop they listen to is 'Slim Shady' (her words not mine), they love death metal, casual attire involves jeans and a Metallica tshirt. Are you with me?
Recently I've noticed the female back neighbour wants to talk to me a lot. A LOT. I've never spoken to her partner, the male one, and I cannot confirm whether he has the ability to speak. Unfortunately for me I get home at the same time as the female and our cars are parked quite closely so we are within speaking range. I've just finished listening to this on full-blast and want to get inside for a cider. She on the other hand, wants conversation. But I've decided that a small amount of banter with her is easier than not speaking to her at all. She might come and stab me in my sleep. Legit.
One afternoon I got out my car, minding my own business and she started a conversation. We begin by complaining about the front neighbours, which is something I can do endlessly. Her son Zaphkkeriey is perched on her hip during our conversation. I know he's only 2 so it's probably normal, and I'm not a parent so I don't know the 'rules' per-say. But mid-conversation Zaphkkeriey began to whack his mothers breast. And I don't mean in a put-me-down kind of way, it was more... well... I CAN'T SAY IT. I just can't say it.
Sexual.
Obviously he was trying to get her attention so he went in for a more aggressive approach (at this stage I didn't think it could get more aggressive), he then began to squeeze her breast quite consistently and vigourously.
Now I need to clarify my neighbour is a big gal. She's probably about size 16-18 and quite curvy, so there's a lot of boob there to grab. Which is why I didn't think toooooo much into it by this stage. UNTIL, well. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen next.
Zaphkkeriey made his final move and squeezed her nipple through her top. He grabbed what appeared to be where the nipple would naturally be and tugged and turned on that particular area. Purple-nurple style.
I watched as my neighbour DID NOTHING TO STOP HIM but did however manage to stop our conversation short and suddenly had a distant look in her eyes like she was somewhere else. She then proceeded to tell me that she had to go and left me out on the driveway feeling both violated and mortified.
There could be an explanation for this. Maybe she has no feeling in her breasticles. Maybe Zaphkkeriey was doing me a favour and cutting the conversation short. I will never know and I'm not about to ask.
For the record, my children are never touching my breasts AFTER breast feeding. Gah.
Where to begin with this one. So we have front neighbours and back neighbours. This blog is going to be the first regarding our back neighbours - specifically the female. I'm actually kind of more frightened of our back neighbours than our front neighbours. And that's saying something because the front neighbours rap and give each other tattoos in their garage on a regular basis. And yes, it is as unhygienic as it sounds but that's a whole different blog post.
So, the back neighbours are a couple in their late 30s and have a 2 year old son. His name is Zachary, not Zach, Zachary - remember that. To come to think of it I've never asked the spelling, it's probably Zaphkkeriey knowing them. They're weird, let's clarify that. I also want to clarify their race and demographic without sounding like a racist or stereo-typist. So here's some clues, the only hiphop they listen to is 'Slim Shady' (her words not mine), they love death metal, casual attire involves jeans and a Metallica tshirt. Are you with me?
Recently I've noticed the female back neighbour wants to talk to me a lot. A LOT. I've never spoken to her partner, the male one, and I cannot confirm whether he has the ability to speak. Unfortunately for me I get home at the same time as the female and our cars are parked quite closely so we are within speaking range. I've just finished listening to this on full-blast and want to get inside for a cider. She on the other hand, wants conversation. But I've decided that a small amount of banter with her is easier than not speaking to her at all. She might come and stab me in my sleep. Legit.
One afternoon I got out my car, minding my own business and she started a conversation. We begin by complaining about the front neighbours, which is something I can do endlessly. Her son Zaphkkeriey is perched on her hip during our conversation. I know he's only 2 so it's probably normal, and I'm not a parent so I don't know the 'rules' per-say. But mid-conversation Zaphkkeriey began to whack his mothers breast. And I don't mean in a put-me-down kind of way, it was more... well... I CAN'T SAY IT. I just can't say it.
Sexual.
Obviously he was trying to get her attention so he went in for a more aggressive approach (at this stage I didn't think it could get more aggressive), he then began to squeeze her breast quite consistently and vigourously.
Now I need to clarify my neighbour is a big gal. She's probably about size 16-18 and quite curvy, so there's a lot of boob there to grab. Which is why I didn't think toooooo much into it by this stage. UNTIL, well. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen next.
Zaphkkeriey made his final move and squeezed her nipple through her top. He grabbed what appeared to be where the nipple would naturally be and tugged and turned on that particular area. Purple-nurple style.
I watched as my neighbour DID NOTHING TO STOP HIM but did however manage to stop our conversation short and suddenly had a distant look in her eyes like she was somewhere else. She then proceeded to tell me that she had to go and left me out on the driveway feeling both violated and mortified.
There could be an explanation for this. Maybe she has no feeling in her breasticles. Maybe Zaphkkeriey was doing me a favour and cutting the conversation short. I will never know and I'm not about to ask.
For the record, my children are never touching my breasts AFTER breast feeding. Gah.
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